Dear Willpower,
Paradoxically at the moment I'm procrastinating but  allow me to say a few words before I proceed with my futile busywork. I have a friend who had an enlightening philosophy about willpower: if you think it and believe it, then it's true. As long as you don't turn a blind eye to reality, then I say this philosophy is extremely effectuaI. I severely questioned this at first, but found it intriguing nonetheless. It reminded me of that book, "The Secret" that was all the rage, the talk of the nation for the longest time. You couldn't walk by a Borders or a Barnes and Noble without spotting one of those bad boys in the window. You were bound to come across this book when window shopping. Like that Fitty Cent song, "Window Shopper." Quality song. Anyway, what was the point of this opus of mine? Oh right. I had the realization that willpower, or in other words, "the ability to overcome laziness and procrastination, the ability to control or reject unnecessary or harmful impulses, the ability to arrive to a decision and follow it with perseverance until its successful accomplishment. It is the inner power that overcomes the desire to indulge in unnecessary and useless habits, and the inner strength that overcomes inner emotional and mental resistance for taking action. It is one of the cornerstones of success, both spiritual and material." This sounds like something we all could use, I know I could more so than many people! I think I have developed an immense knack for persevering in so many ways. Yet, at times I feel like I am vulnerable, too sensitive yet simultaneously strong-willed and plucky. And I daresay FIERCE? No, that would be flattering myself a tad too much. Anyway, I have been getting better in the self-discipline department I think. Yes, I procrastinate but who doesn't? But learning when to slap yourself on the wrist and say "Don't even fucking think about it!" is a highly imperative skill to have in life. I'm working at it. I mean, I don't have texting or facebook at the moment so that most certainly helps. No facebook by choice, but not texting but I'm not going to lie. That would've triggered countless more problems for myself. But I always feel like I throw myself under the bus enough as it is. And obliviously too. Why am I so oblivious?! Why am I so dense?! My Grandma even called me a DUNCE ONCE! Should I just go about my daily life sporting one of those old school, little red schoolhouse in the middle of some god-for-saken meadow dunce caps?! I don't make myself into a dunce. A lot of people do that I know, to get attention or who even knows why. But I frankly this my inner ditziness overshadows the wits I do have! I feel like I say far too many imprudent things. Or maybe it's because I talk without thinking? Perhaps willpower can be the antidote to that as well. I need another dose of self-restraint. Yes, I'm getting better but it's very gradual. No drastic changes. 
Self-restraint
Discipline
Drive
Okay, I have drive. I definitely do, I have big, larger than life notions for myself but I do my best to not unveil them TOO much because it'll make me look like a joke and a half! But quite honestly, this whole willpower makes me think of how many glaring flaws I possess and how much I want to change about myself. It's a rarity to see someone change for the better, I believe, but we are capable of doing so. Because if we don't change ourselves, well it's not as if anyone else can change us. 


I sort of enjoy the fact that I'm misunderstood most of the time. That's fine. 
~Billie Joe Armstrong


Anybody who writes doesn't like to be misunderstood. ~Norman MacCaig 


Well, those two quotes are certainly very contradictory. I concur more with the first one. I think it's beneficial to be a little bit understood, it spices things up a hell of a lot more. It throws some enchantment into the mix. It's endearing. It behooves one to be bizarre and eccentric! To some degree. If you're entirely, wildly cracked out then you're going to repel people and NOT be entertaining. Just merely creepy. But if you have some kind of balance a perfect blend of a peculiar nature and an amusing one, then that's swell and dandy for you!


Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.  
~Scott Adams