But I believe, no matter your disposition, you will always have to go outside of yourself and take a courageous leap no matter what. You must take risks, otherwise you will find no success. Playing it safe is a foolish cop out, it's ineffective.
I would never tell a friend to change themselves, that's complete idiocy. I would, however, give pure, unadulterated constructive criticism because I always appreciate brutal honestly in regards to myself. No sugarcoating, no fluff, no bullshit.
I believe you cannot wait for the other person to make the move. It should be MUTUAL. Yes, they should make their motives apparent, and meet you halfway, but you should as well, otherwise how will they know?
I don't understand the theory that in heterosexual relationships "the guy should always make the first move." Well, what the hell's wrong with asking the GUY out? I'm sure he'd love that. It would be extremely refreshing. Call me insane or radical but if I were straight I would totally do that.
And no that does not make me a harlot. I just know what I want and I'll go for it, easy as that.
And that is very attractive.
Playing "hard to get" is absurd! That will just translate to the other person as "not interested." It's utterly pointless.
This world is so unreservedly, achingly misogynistic and sexist. It's so fucking ingrained in our culture, it appears to still be the cultural/social norm in the year 2011. That is outrageous!
Chivalry and all that bullshit...the man must be a hero and shit and throw the woman over his shoulder to carry her across that puddle. That's the shit that emerges in my mind when I think of chivalry. Why must women be damsels in distress waiting for their prince to come?
Go out and get him on your own! Give it a whirl! Do not be afraid. There is no reason for that.
I will never understand girls who wait around for the GUY to make the move. Why can't you do it? What the hell's wrong with that?
Guys are dense. They truly can be. So make your hints blatant that you're interested. Again, this does not make you a less than reputable woman of questionable morals. You just are fearless and know what you want. Again, that is very sexy. Who wouldn't think so?
I am not a relationship expert, especially not with heterosexual relationships by any means, I am just a fervent observer of human nature.
And I have plenty of philosophies.
I don't get fears like this. I've conquered this ages ago. I mean, you try, you put yourself out there, if it doesn't work out you think "Their loss!" and you move the fuck on. Clearly they were not right for you if they don't appreciate you. Don't keep chasing people who are not interested---you don't see me chasing my ex "so called lady friend." She totally led me on and gave me insane mixed signals and the aftermath was semi-brutal and uncomfortable but whatev, it didn't last long and I moved the fuck on. I'm getting good at that. It's called growing up, I suppose. Acquiring wisdom and learning what's truly important in life. And not getting tunnel vision.
Old fashioned beliefs are old fashioned for a reason: they are obsolete. This is 2011 people. Do not follow obsolete courting/chivalry rules. That book is covered in dust bunnies. Toss that shit out. Times have changed thank God. If we were supposed to stay in a rut, then everything in life would stay like it was back in the day. You can still be a wonderful human being and be transformative and progressive and innovative. But obsolete values should be long-forgotten. They are stale, ineffectual. Can't we get a little more creative?! Go against the grain. Red roses on a date? Generic. Dinner and a movie? Conventional. The guy opening doors for girls and shit? Insulting. She's not a fucking baby or a pussy. She can do that shit herself. In theory it's POLITE, sure, but come on, that shit is fucked up! Treat her as your equal not some delicate little daisy who has to be put up on a pedestal and treated like a fragile, breakable glass vase.
It makes me incensed. I'm done with this shit now I'm too tired and wired and I don't even know what else! Obsolete traditions only lead to narrow minds.
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