Because naturally, I got a wretched gut feeling about it. My intuition screamed at me, "Stay away stay away! You may scrape up reasons to linger but are not nearly as prudent and intelligent as your reasons to FLEE!" Flee the scene, people.
If it's detrimental to you, don't put yourself through that shit. Wake up and smell the coffee.
Here's something I wrestled with for years until I finally came to terms with it, accepted and even embraced it (my wise Mother beat it into my head all my life):
~Not everyone is going to like you. That's okay! In fact that's GOOD. Better have people dislike you then be ambivalent to you, that's what I always think. Don't seek out or chase people to accept you if they're not. Being a people pleaser is the most horrid thing you can do in this scenario. Hold your head up high 'cuz you were born this way baby, as Mother Monster preaches!
~As I also say: only work to change the negative characteristics you possess. But be unapologetic with the positive in yourself.
~Do what's right (what you think is at least) not just what the majority is doing. I firmly believe you will ultimately be respected for it, for your different, once pegged morally bizarre and questionable beliefs. The worst thing one can do is be a follower, especially when it's with bullshit that seems awfully fishy to you and rubs you the wrong way. Again: go with your gut.
In a similar vein, paradoxically one of my favorite advice/self-help books (one of the best ones out there) is "He's Just Not that Into You." My Mom gave it to me to read once on a long plane ride.
It was fascinating! And every word rang so true.
And I'm a tad obsessed with analyzing relationships and shit (yes, even heterosexual ones, although I am far from it.) The prime message of the book, which I found enthralling is: IF YOU'RE NOT HEARING FROM HIM, YOU AIN'T GOING TO. In other words, if a guy likes you he will let it be known and nothing's going to stop him.
And mixed signals=bad news. That's how it is. I'm sure most people would concur with me in terms of that. Mixed signals=uncertainty, which no one is fond of.
So tell the brutal truth, it may shake you up and be FAR from what you want to hear, but it's not bullshit. And after you're done being irate and mortified you will be eternally grateful to the person who told you nothing but the truth.
More to come.
However, only tell it like it is if the subject arises. Don't go imposing your opinions on your friends out of the blue after they text you asking you what time you're meeting up to go to the bars.
I for one, am terribly guilty of imposing my beliefs on people---well not necessarily I just made myself sound like some sign-waving, aggravatingly vociferous, religious extremist. Nope, what I meant was don't go ranting and raving to people about how dense they are and blind to the truth. It's a waste of time, you can't make anyone believe anything.
And hey, they'll figure it out eventually. And when they do, don't rub it in. Don't throw in an "I told you so." Be a class act.
Anyway, let's be real, we are all very much guilty of self-deception.
For instance, this girl I THOUGHT I was dating (example number one of fooling myself), told me when we went out to dinner, "I'm not good at dating, I don't like it." Trick number one. But then she picked up the tab and I thought, "Oh okay, this was a date!" Nope. Mixed signals, bitches. Mixed signals=ain't nothing gonna happen. I had a bad feeling about that shit, but still remained very giddy and hopeful for no apparent reason. Well, because we had fun I suppose but she was straight up with me, in a way. With clear implications. I just hoodwinked myself. Luckily I came to my senses eventually. We all do. But thankfully I did at a point where I didn't get as hurt as I would have been if things spiraled downward later on. And I shook it off, totally over it now! So don that suit of armor!
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