even in spite of all that is good and all those in my life who are so wonderful, i can't help but feel like i've been a massive outcast for the majority of this semester. and for one prime reason.
the most frustrating thing about this all is that it still effects me. well it is still rather fresh.
i hate that it still pains me. some days are better than others though, that's for certain. 
it's just a deep-rooted, stinging pain. of course it'll go away eventually but as of now it's like multiple jabs in the chest daily. more or less. 
it's always in the back of my mind.
this fear needs to be eliminated. time heals all wounds, of course.
which is absolutely true. i'm living proof!
i don't even know what to do anymore, i don't even know if i'm handling this properly.