DOWNY BETTY! Skit I have thus far

DOWNY BETTY
"The Library Excursion on a Brisk Spring Day"

Grandma Flo: Come on kids, the library's right this way! Georgie, hold on to your Auntie Betty's hand now. You can't cross streets on your own! You're only a preteen! And Bertha get your finger out of your nose. What are you, digging for gold? This ain't no California Gold Rush, girl!

Bertha: I'm just hungry! And I need to do something with my fingers since I don't have texting anymore!

Georgie: Don't worry, I think you do PLENTY with your fingers.

(Bertha shoots him a withering stare.)

Grandma Flo: Okay whippersnappers, go to town! Run amuck and find something to replenish your mind after those god-awful The Loose Women of Ill-Repute of the Atlantic City Boardwalk reruns.

Georgie: In Ms. Box's Literature class, we're learning about this Swedish author named Dan Andersson who has some swell poems that I dig very much! He is such an inspiration to me! I love both writing and the Swedes! 

Betty: Isn't he that bloke who died at a place called Hotel Hellman because the negligent, indolent hotel staff hadn't properly cleaned up the hydrogen cyanide they had sprayed to kill the bed bugs in his room?

Bertha: Uh, well, I don't know. . .we only just started learning about his works. We haven't really discussed his life yet.

Georgie: Ooh, Sweden, they had that lesbian chick for a Queen once right? Queen Christina of Sweden?

Betty: Wasn't she that queen that was exiled from Sweden and then not long after she fell morbidly ill and when she finally did recover she contracted pneumonia and a frighteningly high fever? Then she rapidly died.

Bertha: Um...that's really depressing Aunt Betty. I don't know if that's true or not...

Georgie: That is a real bummer. 

Grandma Flo: Okay...let's move on then perhaps? How about "The Colossus and Other Poems"? It's one of Sylvia Plath's finest works! Gee, was she a brilliant young writer or what?

Bertha: Oh yes, we read the Bell Jar in class! I thought of Esther Greenwood as the female version of Holden Caulfield!

Georgie: Oh yeah, I haven't read it but I heard that! How funny! 

Betty: Didn't Sylvia Plath die from carbon monoxide poisoning by committing suicide by sticking her head in her gas oven?

Grandma Flo: What in tarnation? You must be pulling my leg! Okay kids, let's try...um...Dickens anyone? "A Tale of Two Cities" is a classic!

TO BE CONTINUED.