I just found this on some health site...
first off let me just say I am a self-proclaimed hypochondriac. I was NEVER like this in high school. But ever since last year, when college started, I can get sick at the drop of a hat. It's awful. Usually results in me going two or three days feel nauseous, with a super sore throat, very fatigued, no appetite and thus I don't eat for at least two days. It fucking sucks. But I've been taking all my vitamins and meds and shit so hopefully I will be fine sooner rather than later.
Paradoxically, I am in the grandest of moods! I'm not letting feeling shitty get in the way. I really like my classes thus far---only one more for the day. I am SO tired. Last night, I think the mountain dew really got to me. I was all jittery and hyperactive so I probably didn't fall asleep till after 1 even though I was tired as fuck.
So I watched golden girls (what else?)
Ugh 15 minutes and I need to make a dash to the library to print out my write up then go to English. Can't remember if it's brit or am lit. I think brit. Am lit is tomorrow.
Anyway, I feel so shitty. No wonder people have thought I was anorexic or bulimic or BOTH so much in the past. I have all the signs at times. It's terrifying. But when you get to know me you will know I am, in fact, NOT.
Just a highly anxious, energized intense individual.
From everything I read about Sylvia Plath I am MUCH like her. It's scary. Except I'm not depressed or bipolar like she was.
Not in the least. I'm usually very animated. I always find things to be euphoric about. Ahhh it's nice sitting here, not gonna lie, I feel so relaxed and it's so chilly in my room it FEELS GREAT! I love the cold! I am a polar bear. Clearly.
Anyway, I feel far less nauseous. I have been taking tons of meds though so I should be good. Natural stuff too. I do feel like dry heaving kind of. I'm not gonna force myself to throw up...but maybe I should, that's the last thing I need. To be drowning in mortification my first English class of the semester.
It's not even worth the good story.
I think when I get back I may take a hot shower.
Or read something...or edit something...
'Cuz I don't have any work due tomorrow. I'm looking forward to tomorrow very much. Just two classes at 10 and 11. Am lit and GHS. I hope GHS is interesting! I am dying to learn about China and Islam! Both of those things fascinate me. As well as all Asian countries, Mecca, Buddhism, etc. All on my list of things I'm ignorant about.
It's probably 'cuz I have more fascinations. Usually morbid ones.
My brother did too back in the day. Titanic.
But that's not as bad as me...Sylvia Plath, suicides, "Beloved", Toni Morrison, serial killers, etc.
Ugh I don't want to go to class...an hour and 15 minutes. Damn. Oh well, I can't be bitching. Most of my friends are jam packed.
But it's primarily 'cuz I feel like shit.
I think I'm gonna go work out later. Treadmill and elliptical. Too damn cold to swim. Although maybe I SHOULD it would feel great. I think I will. I'll have to check the website 'cuz over my dead body do I want to run into those swim lesson bitches. Fuck no.
Whatever, so I will do that than definitely go in the hot tub and/or sauna. That should make me feel better. Ugh, I'm getting a headache too. But I don't want to take any more things. Not that I took anything bad...my vitamins, "calming/happy pills" and...yeah.
I really want to nap, but that's not gonna happen. I am anti-naps now honestly. When you wake up you feel like crap. You feel DEAD. More tired than before. Then you're out of it you cannot function well enough to get shit done.
I don't even feel anxious now. Just fucking sick and lethargic, fatigued. And I WILL probably fall asleep in class. Damn it.
And I need to check mail real bad.
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