"I'm really fucked up."


---Jenny Schecter, the crazy, neurotic yet brilliant writer from "The L Word"


I pray I do not end up like Jenny. Committing suicide. Too tormented by her inner demons.


I don't want that to be me. It's too exhausting. I do it too much. 


On a brighter note, I. LOVE. MY. FRIENDS.


And You (you know who I'm talking about) are AMAZING. You make me SO happy! I know it's a blessing that we can never date and such but soon enough I'll be like "GOOD WHO CARES." Our friendship is more open than ever now. 


You cheer me up like no other. Knowing you are always here for me is the best medicine I need.


I love you to death! In a friend way of course. =)


Now I feel there are no walls whatsoever in between us. You are the best. 


Someday in the future I will be genuinely happy for you when guys take interest in you.


It drives me mad now thinking of guys taking an interest in you.


Obviously they have impeccable taste because you are amazing and you know I think so. 


Even when I've conquered this I will always think you are so damn beautiful. You warm my heart, and always will. 


Anyway, I have SO much more to say. My mood has turned around tonight. Thanks to you.


Now I feel so unusually optimistic. Am I fucking bipolar? =P


The incessant compliments from you help. Although I practically made you tell me I'm pretty. Haha. No I just asked it.


I'm probably saying far too much here, but I don't care.


You make me feel loved. As a FRIEND obviously. 


I can't believe I told you how it helps to imagine if we were to date it'd be DISASTER. But it WOULD, let's get real. Even if it were POSSIBLE, I would probably have to say NO because FRIENDSHIP is so much more important.
Because that's what came first.