Sometimes I have more pangs of feelings than other times.


They come and go.


I cannot imagine the day in the future where I am NOT smitten with her.


I am SO smitten with you. I am getting over with it though.


I am hoping by Spring Break I will be fully over you. 


Then we can celebrate. And we'll be closer than ever. My anxiety will plummet like no other, I can tell you that much. 


Even when I'm over you I'm still going to find you absurdly beautiful and lovely and fabulously amazing.


Sometimes the pangs of feelings get so insanely exhausting.


And after this past Weekend from Hell, I have never been so fatigued. Last night I slept like a baby.


And tonight I know I will too. Dead tired.


I feel like I have more to say to you...SO MUCH more.
Like: it would make me feel so much better about The Entire Situation if I can give you little hugs whenever! And vice versa. And cuddle! I love doing that with anyone. I guess I'm not as tactically defensive as I thought. I love being touched, not in an inappropriate way obviously. 


I still yearn for her comfort. Whether she's speaking benevolent, complimentary, lovely words to me or if she embraces me, kicks me, lightly punches me, taps me, whatever...I will know our PLATONIC love is real.


I have platonic love with all of my friends. It's the most important kind of love.  Being sexual and all is only a tiny bit of it. 


It helps me feel better about myself that we have deepened ourselves in this way. 


Are you happy that I'm back to my normal self? And so positive? And even reached the point where I'm asking about him? 


The thing I'm still grappling with is that he's in your class once a week. Ironically when I have night class too. I don't know what to expect out of this.


I guess to prepare myself:
-They will study together.
-Do lots of projects together.
-If there are field trips or whatever they will stick together throughout that.
-Will all lead to much more.