I'm becoming happy again!


Thank you to my dear friends especially YOU (you know who you are!) I am feeling so optimistic because of our talks. Something as simple as that is a wonderful cure for me. We need more bonding time. =) More bonding sessions. I know we both agree it sucks we can't eat lunch together this semester...well except for Fridays I believe. Something like that. Well we have Thursday evenings! Golden Girls!!!!!!!! But I won't force you to GTL it up with me anymore, don't fret! We need a new TV show too. Bridezillas is out right? Sister Wives? Fail. Um...how about Bride Wars we have yet to watch that damn movie!


Of course I felt awful that I was frustrating this past weekend in spite of my enormous pain, but trust me, I was very frustrated with myself and how it was all going down, which led you to vent on your blog which led me to being more of a mess...but honestly can you imagine anything else more trivial? Not I! And besides, I knew you only wrote about me because you CARE. Straight up! And I love how we've been hugging like everyday for the past like, 4 days. Haha, I guess you can say they're "goodnight hugs" but they brighten up my day...because YOU do! 


I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS. END OF STORY.


However, all of this doesn't mean I don't want to try the psychiatrist tomorrow slash ask her what she can prescribe me. Hopefully Lorazepam again. And that great nausea medication. That helped immensely. And INSTANTLY. Some drugs will boost my confidence. I know it sounds awful but I want to be extra careful I don't slip into the "up and down" depressed bullshit again. Wow. One day later and I'm infinitely better. Still don't feel 100 percent by any means, and have no appetite practically still but I will talk to the doc tomorrow about that further. I have to talk fast. It's a 45 minute fucking appointment. For 120 fucking bucks. WHAT. 


Positive attitude, people. Willpower. And taking it one day at a time.


What my therapist said today that actually stuck out to me:
"It truly sounds as if you and her are really getting to know each other more...on a serious, more profound level." She said something along those lines. And yes, I wholeheartedly agree. We truly are.


Sidenote to keep telling myself:
She is just chilly keep on talking to him and such on occasion, just very low key, and will run into each other sporadically. The campus isn't terribly huge by any means. And talk on Facebook probably. Nothing even remotely serious. Chill friends shit. Not even, she said they're not even friends technically. Who knows. But it's not nonstop by any means, it's very, very rare she said. But yeah, I mean obviously I'm not gonna ask about it but nonetheless, she wants to keep the communication flowing with him. To just see where it leads them. She's very curious, understandably so. I'm sure he is as well. 
I told her that he's very stylish today =) He is though.


If anything happens, he better be damn good to her, I will not allow anything less! If any guy treats her badly I will cut his balls off! Although this will most likely never, ever happen because her judgment is far from dreadful.