To fuck my writing...

i need to stop thinking i need a relationship or to be sexually fulfilled.


given my immense progress writing-wise and my conquering of my paralyzing case of writer's block, the only fucking I need to be doing is with my writing.


jeez, i sound like i'm trying to pose as a non-virgin. oh no i'm a virgin all right. love hasn't exactly swung the way i wanted it to lately, let's just put it that way.


and luckily i had this revelation during this longass winter break. ah, winter break. it has truly worked wonders for me this year. my mind has been cleansed. no bullshit, so i can think and write. 


i write, read and watch californication and weeds by day and go out and do random shit at night. 


the curse of being home: being under the watchful eye of MOM, aka being watched like a hawk 24/7 i can't get into much trouble...but i have this break trust me. 


i get into more shenanigans at school.


one of the best nights was when i was drunk and randomly smoking a cig in the parking lot then my cousin and two friends randomly appear and take my cigarette away. "I don't want you to get sick!" my cousin hollers.


I was PISSED. I don't even smoke that much! On occasion. I've blazed more than smoked cigarettes. 'Cuz weed is indeed much better. Just saying. And alcohol trumps all.


Anyway, I'm finished with that I'm beginning to sound like I belong in rehab.


So I think this break I've successfully purged myself of lusting over people---male and female. No more sordid, erotic thoughts now! I've been telling myself.


And it's working! 'Cuz I have a shitton of my book down. I have three and a half sections to go though, but still, it's getting increasingly simple to write.


Man, I can't wait to get back to school...I'm gonna go apeshit nuts the first weekend back. I miss getting crazy. I went nuts in the beginning of the year. Then I threw up one night, all night, 'cuz I was a dumbass and chugged rum...again. So I took a break. And I'm ready to get back out there to the PARTAY SCENE BITCHES!


My goal? To meet more guys. Primarily just as friends, or ones I can use to get smokes and liquor. Yes, I sound like a dreadful excuse for a human being but you know? It could be future writing material. That's why I love experiences.