I'm the fucking laughingstock of the family.
But we'll see who'll be laughing a few years from now.
Sometimes I wish we were more "Full House" or some shit.
No bullshit.
Just they wait, I'm gonna be the most successful out of everyone! I don't wish failure upon A and J but nevertheless, I am going to go so farther.
All signs point to A being the Boy Genius Wonder and J being the Perfect Athlete and me...the Weird One? I don't know. I will always be outshined...in high school I felt outshined by my freshman brother.
But since I never won anything or got anything I wished for in terms of success with a few exceptions, I had to work a fuckload harder for accomplishments...everything came so easily to him...
Just you all wait!
Mom's never gonna approve of my life. Especially if I become a professional writer. I could be married to a MAN and have four grandchildren for her and she would still be disturbed and incensed and try to make me do something SHE wants me to do.
SHE IS CONTROLLING
SHE THINKS SHE CAN CONTROL ME.
She thinks writers are nutcases.
Which is true, but I hope I am not one of them who end up committing suicide or something.
If I did I would do it by starting my car with the garage door closed. Or pills.

Dad had no right to say those things to me. But he'd never apologize.
Mom's apology was questionable it ended in lectures and bitching and degrading me.