It's inexplicable. 
Everything that went down. 
NONE OF IT MADE ANY SENSE.
She was clearly into me and even said that but I guess she wasn't looking for anything all along.
Why did she lead me on then? 
I am bamboozled.
That's what hurts the most. 
I deleted her number from my phone.
SHE'S A VERY COMPLEX PERSON.
Not in a good way. It's so difficult in life to tell who the toxic people are.
I seriously cannot win any battle in my life. 
Of course there's other shit bothering me too. 
I don't have it in me to address it here though. 
I've been through the mill, but I'm not gonna feel sorry for myself and wallow in self-pity. 
I can't do that.
I'm gonna still go out tonight and have a blast. 
I hope.
I don't know though. 
I'm kind of outrageously tired. 
And I drank last night.
And tomorrow's Sunday AKA I needa get shit done 'cuz I most certainly am not today.
I do really wanna go out but I don't have it in me I don't think. 
I have zero energy, zero spunk. 
I just feel dead, numb and lifeless.
I kind of want to just watch TV tonight until I fall asleep. 
I want to dream that in some crazy fantasy life there will be a woman who will love me madly and be perfect for me.
I deserve that.