YIPES!

I haven't blogged in three days! Holy shit! That's a record for me. 


So. Here's the thing.


1. Last night I got drunk and of course was texting my "lady friend" or whatever you wanna call her. Don't fucking ask me, I don't know what we even are. Hopefully we figure that out. Like I don't care what we do---date casually, be fuck buddies, have a relationship---I honestly don't even care. I just want to keep things chill and most importantly FUN! Anyway, she was drunk too last night and we were having a thoroughly incoherent conversation. She asked me to watch porn with her, I told her to do me, oh and then she said "she's not looking to date anyone and if we did hook up she thinks I would expect more than she could give." Um...what?! Who ever said I'm looking for something SERIOUS? This is my first little thing here so I'm not looking to rush into things at all.
I like her, she likes me that's all I know. Why can't we just have fun? Wow. We say foolish things while drunk.
Why'd she take me out to dinner then?
Mixed signals? Who knows.
She said she wanted to talk when we were sober.
I'm all about going with the flow but I am NOT going to fucking get my heart broken again.
She's very much about GOING WITH THE FLOW AND JUST DOING WHATEVER, WHENEVER. WHATEVER SHE WANTS. I mean, I don't know, that's the impression I get.
I knew there'd be a catch. There always has to be with me. Always strings attached.
So I told her...granted I was trashed, but "Let's just have FUN no strings attached."
What do you want from me woman??!?!?!!??!?!?!
I think you want to hook up you blatantly implied that when we were both sober but still. I don't know.
Please don't worry about hurting me, you won't. At this point, I'm indestructible. I'm far more zen about these things.
If things don't work out it's because they weren't supposed to.
I guess I will just have to see.
PLEASE I NEED DIVINE INTERVENTION, GIVE ME A SIGN! I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING! I HATE BEING BLIND AND CLUELESS.