i've realized:
i am still incredibly passionate about feminism and ESPECIALLY gay rights however i am really not down with the whole club bullshit component of alliance and feminist club.
i could do far much more good autonomously. 
'cuz i honestly don't enjoy the people in it. okay they were all right last semester, namely during the drag show which was exceptionally fun.
i had a great time.
but still i didn't exactly click with anyone. well one girl but not anymore.
yikes. well, shit happens you're not gonna fit in anywhere.
just because i'm a lesbian doesn't mean i'm gonna fit in these areas where you would think i would make a seamless transition to, because it is "me."
well no these specific places are NOT.
i'm bailing. call me unreliable but i'd rather do my own thing. that's what i've always done.
REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE. haha hardly, but still. i'd rather be hated and fight for what i believe in as opposed to be loved and just follow and go with the flow.
I DETEST FOLLOWERS, ALWAYS HAVE. probably my number one pet peeve.
anyway i can make more of a difference in my writing and such as opposed to sitting mindlessly in these tedious and unproductive club meetings that consist of just all talk, bullshit and people who try way too hard to be hipsters.